Holiday Fun(damentals on How to Die of Embarrassment)
by Loafy-Loaf
Summary: Beca never understood the hype for holidays. The bright decorations, the awkward family dinners, the reruns of old movies, and (good Lord) the corny music: it was all just one big, glorified headache. So imagine her delight when organized nerd singing is thrown into the mix. "What the **** are singagrams?" (But hey, maybe some redhead enthusiast can help convert DJ Grinch...) BxC
1. Chapter 1

AN: Personally, I loved Pitch Perfect's "holiday transition" scene. It kinda makes you wonder how much stronger the bonds between the Bellas are growing. It's such a pity that they didn't add it to the movie. (I mean come on, it's a minute long!) So, since it's so adorkable, Imma write some fluff. Absolutely, 100% Bechloe. (The movie LIES.)

* * *

Beca liked to think she was a determined woman. She pretty much sold her soul to the blonde devil to pursue her dreams in LA, after all. Strict schedules? Fine. Stuffy flight attendant costumes? Whatever. Nonstop cardio up and down a set of bleachers? She'll huff and puff her way through it. (Even if she dies a little after every lap.) _'It will all be worth it in the end,' _becomes her endless mantra, fueling her through practices and arguments with aforementioned demon.

But _this_. Is just. …No.

She gaped at the whiteboard as she entered the auditorium. "~Operation Halloween Singagrams!~" was written in black and orange, surrounded by squiggles and other frivolous decorations.

This has got to be a joke.

…Hah. What was she thinking? Aubrey doesn't joke.

"What the fuck are singagrams?" she asked loudly. She already had an idea of what they were, but hoped against hope that she was wrong. Arms crossed tightly, she took her seat at the closest chair.

The rest of the Bellas were already present. Upon the first few practices, the girls soon realized that "early" was "on time," and "on time" was "late" in Aubrey-speak. Naturally, Beca took extreme care to always arrive at least five minutes tardy.

"Well Beca," Aubrey replied, glaring at the brunette, "If you were here at calltime, you would already know now, wouldn't you?"

This argument was like a pre-practice ritual between the two, but now was not the time for pleasantries.

Receiving only a pointed look in reply, Aubrey pursed her lips in distaste. "You can at least _pretend_ to put in some effort, you alternative little-"

"Singagrams are basically singing telegrams!" a perky voice interrupts, "The plan is to collect song requests for a small fee and sing it to the recipient at their own dorm room! I'm sure it'll be the tits~"

To Aubrey's right stood an exuberant Chloe, her blue eyes shining with giddy excitement. Clasping and unclasping her hands, the redhead bounced between the toes and balls of her feet. She was biting on her lip, which did nothing to deter her wide smile. It was obvious to everyone that she was a lover of holidays.

Despite the adorable sight before her, Beca couldn't help but deflate a little. Great. More public singing.

"Whyyyyyy?" she complained, sounding whiny to even her own ears. Beca _hated_ performing a cappella in front of other people. Like seriously, she would rather sit through a Twilight movie marathon.

Yeah. It was _that_ bad.

The whole singing "just with our mouths" thing did nothing to promote her sarcastic, badass DJ character. In the auditorium, at least she was hidden away behind walls.

Aubrey looked at Beca as if she asked why pitch pipes were necessary. "Well, obviously we need a way to raise money for competitions. Unless you're willing to use your generous paycheck…?"

She scowled. Aubrey knew that her only "job" was her internship at the radio station. With the amount of time she puts into it compared to the amount she gets paid, it may or may not be an exaggeration to call it premeditated robbery.

"But why singagrams?" Stacie asked, looking up from her nails. "Couldn't we find some other way to raise money? I wouldn't mind doing some cleaning in the student dorms or something like that." The predatory smirk on her face, however, spoke of a different kind of housekeeping. "I'm fine with being a maid."

Aubrey offered a small smile, apparently not noticing (or ignoring) the rather obvious sexual suggestion. "Stacie, as much as I applaud you for your dedication, I believe that this would be a wonderful opportunity to both raise money and give us some much-needed vocal training."

Beca rolled her eyes. Stacie gets a smile for suggesting prostitution while she's over here getting hissed at for breathing wrong.

"I've never heard anything about these singing telegrams before," Cynthia Rose quipped, "Are they new this year?"

Aubrey hesitated, something that did not go unnoticed with the other Bellas. "This year, we thought that it would be best if we tried something new…"

Beca snorted, covering her mouth to stifle the unbelieving laughter.

Chloe quickly jumped in. "What Aubrey is trying to say is that this fundraiser would probably be more successful than if we did past ones."

Fat Amy crossed her arms and leaned against the back of her chair. "I'm telling ya, man," she sighs, shaking her head. "Once they see me in a bikini, those cars will come speeding! You should have seen me in the Miss Tasmania: Beach Wear Contest last year. Those pants couldn't drop fast enough." She added an extra push to her bosom, as if proving a point.

Aubrey closed her eyes. "…God help me," she whispered.

* * *

In all honesty, she really _should_ have known that this would turn into a full-blown nerdfest.

Beca walked through the auditorium with her hands in her pockets, smirking at the ridiculous costumes around her. Wow. She's was kinda hoping at least _one_ person would back her up by wearing normal clothes, but alas…

Aubrey was running around the room, her voice easily heard over the buzz of conversation as she made sure everything was in order. She was dressed in a strapless dress with black tights and boots, topped off with a short cape. Her large orange and black cone hat whipped back and forth, nearly smacking Ashley in the face as she handed everyone their respective grams.

Dodging from her captain's line of sight, Beca shuffled towards her friends. (…Great. She has now officially associated herself with these nerds. Ah well.)

"Where's your costume, shawty?" the Joker asked in a raspy voice. Beca smiled at the blonde Tasmanian supervillain. Amy had her hair semi-dyed green, letting the greasy, unkempt locks rest at her shoulders. Her face looked like it got attacked by a bag of flour, complimented with raccoon eyes and a rough, blood-red line of lipstick across her face. All of this was topped off with a purple coat and matching pin-stripe pants that were probably (no offense) custom tailored.

Beca showed the palms of her hands, presenting herself in all of her flannel, skinny jean-wearing glory. "Can't you tell? I'm going for the crazy alt girl look this year." She touched her ear spikes, feigning a concerned look. "…Is it too much?"

She grinned as everyone eye-rolled. Her influence was finally "poisoning" them all.

"Halloween's the one time you can wear whatever you want without worrying about judgmental idiots," Stacie explained, crossing her arms (and making Cynthia Rose space out on her chest for a bit). "Why not take advantage of it?"

Beca cocked an eyebrow. The young woman was dressed in a red devil costume that hugged the soprano impossibly tight, leaving little to imagination. (Jesus Christ, how could she even breathe in that thing?) She swayed her hips as she stood, swishing her devil tail back and forth. As Stacie twirled her mini-pitchfork, Baca couldn't help but think that she looked like someone straight from that porno she had watched back in the days of high school. Either way, she had a feeling that Stacie's horns won't be the only ones erect tonight. "So Stacie, does that mean you celebrate Halloween every day?"

The sexy soprano gave a sultry smile in return, denying nothing.

"And what about you, CR?" Beca asked, turning towards the other Bella. Finally taking the time to fully examine her friend, she couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter. "What the hell are you wearing?"

Cynthia Rose snapped back to attention and bared her fangs. "I had to go costume-shopping with Aubrey, and she forced this on me," she grumbled, gesturing towards her brown cape-coat thing. "I was gonna be Jason from Friday the 13th, but she told me the mask would _'interfere with the quality of our performances'_ or something."

Everyone with the exception of Beca chuckled, impressed by the surprisingly realistic Aubrey impression.

"Don't worry about it dude. I'm sure you'll be the most kickass gopher vampire in Barden." Beca finally let herself laugh as Cynthia Rose hit her arm with her jack-o-lantern candy bag.

Calming down, the brunette took the time to look around the auditorium. It looked like everyone was here…except for-

"OH MY JESUS CHRIST!"

Beca quickly jumped to the side, clutching her pounding chest. "What the f- Oh my God, Lilly…Seriously!?"

The Asian (who had been leering over Beca's shoulder) mumbled a greeting and offered a smile. While the Bellas usually counted any emotional expression from the girl as a milestone, the smile just made them collectively shiver. Lilly's face and exposed limbs were completely pale, sporting a painted look rather than Amy's powdery one. Her short white nightgown hugged her body, draped with straight hair that came to her torso. To complete the image, her eyebrows were filled in with the same coal black that was thickly applied around her eyes.

It was simple, but terrifying as fuck. Amy, being the self-proclaimed dingo-wrangler that she was, recovered first.

"Damn, girl! You work that Grudge-look!"

Lilly whispered something (a thank-you maybe?) and swayed closer to the group. Everyone instinctively took a small step back.

Ignoring the fight or flight response buzzing through her every vein, Beca returned her attention to the rest of the room. "Hey guys…do you know where Chloe is?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant. (It wasn't like she was actively seeking her out or anything…)

A prod to the spine urged her to turn. Whipping around, Beca's jaw slackened. "Looking for me?" the redhead replied, giggling at her friend's dumbstruck expression.

Chloe, seemingly taking the advice of Stacie, was dressed as a nurse. A brightly smiling, skin-showing, (frustratingly) attractive nurse. Her white and red uniform was a tight mini-dress that barely made it to her mid-thigh (eyes upward, Mitchell!), completed with a headpiece that was perched delicately on straightened(!) ginger hair. She looked unbelievably sexy; but as she twiddled with her stethoscope and gave everyone a casual smile, it was obvious that she was unaware of her ability to mentally disable people.

Beca, a victim of the tragic ailment, had no chance.

"Sooooo," Chloe continued, looking at her with expectant eyes, "What do you think?" She twirled herself, sending her hair flying in a shampoo-model-like cascade. Jesus. Chloe belongs on the cover of Maxim or something. What the hell was she doing here in reality?

Luckily, Beca was saved from making an awkward, blubbering compliment. Unluckily, the distraction came from the Witch.

"Beca!" Aubrey exclaimed, entering the circle of friends in a blur of black and orange and waving limbs, "What do you think you're doing? Did I _not_ specifically tell you, along with everyone else, that costumes were _mandatory_?"

"Well, you've always said that I'm basically your personal living nightmare, so I was like: Meh, whatever works."

Beca almost felt bad when Aubrey buried her face into her papers and groaned. Keyword: almost.

"This…is a disaster!" she whispered, not far from hyperventilating.

_'Ah, there she goes again,'_ Beca thought dryly, _'Condemning things before they even have a chance to start.'_

"Oh, that's okay!"

Everyone turned towards the Chloe, who was holding up a drawstring bag with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "I had a feeling Beca would…'forget' her costume…so I brought an extra!"

Chloe opened the bag and pulled out the contents. Beca's eyes widened.

Oh, fuck no.

* * *

AN: Weeelp, there you have it. How was thy literary journey? Humorous? Hopefully well-written? Let me know~ (PLZ.)

Ps, kudos to those who can find references. ;D


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I love you people. There is a reason I sneak my iPod under my sheets to type more, you know. We have this connection. Barge into my shower and serenade me into your acapella group already. (Wat.)

To Ze Reviewers:

Update within two days, pretty good right? ;D (Don't expect the others to be this fast. Like really. Don't.) I'm sorry that I'm not sorry for the cliffhanger. Gotta keep you guys engaged~ But hey, at least the characters are funny. (Awwww guys, really? They're in character? Aw shucks.) And as for Beca's costume...I hope I don't disappoint :U (I have everything planned out beforehand, so I don't know I'm sorry ahhhhhhh.)

Special Shout-Out to mbj2323, my first reviewer: Wow, you reviewed within the hour of it being up. Are you a Bechloe fanfic prowler? ...High five, girl/dude! Cuz me too! XD

* * *

This is beyond humiliating. And painful. Like, she-just-might-choke-on-all-the-awkward kind of painful. And to be fair, it was probably unbearable for the people getting serenaded to, too. When you get a knock at your dorm door late at night, you would expect pizza delivery guy, not two nerds and an instrument-less rendition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller."

And ugh, the redhead next to her _really_ wasn't helping. Beca had no idea why Aubrey thought pairing the two of them together would be wise. It was taking all of her concentration not to melt into a socially awkward mess when she's in that costume, especially now that they were alone.

Chloe's presence, along with a good dose of public humiliation, made it one heck of a long night.

And to make matters worse, Chloe seemed to become more and more aware of the hold she had over Beca's mental state. When she could, the ginger would add a little sway to her hips or a flirty wink at the end of a sentence; every time she bended over to give the gram to the bewildered college student, Beca would have to mentally scream at herself to not stare at the…ahem…ample bosom. As the night grew darker and Chloe grew bolder, Beca honestly didn't know if she could describe her co-captain's behavior as playful teasing or borderline sexual harassment.

And, funnily enough, she found herself somewhat grateful that she was wearing a costume.

A strong arm quickly snaked its way around her shoulders, and Beca soon found herself being pulled (falling) towards Chloe.

"So Beca, having fun yet?" she asked cheekily.

"Not quite," was the automatic response, her mouth dry from their proximity. She was unbelievably glad that her face was covered right now…though she was pretty sure the heat from her face could probably sear a hole into the costume sometime soon.

"Turn that frown upside down, Charlie Brown!" the dork giggled.

The scowl that Beca had been sporting grew deeper. "You know, I'm surprised no one's thrown rocks at me yet." She raised her arms to stare at the billowing white fabric, almost hypnotized.

She, Rebecca Mitchell, was wearing a bed sheet.

"Hey, I worked hard on that!"

"Oh yeah, it must take a lot of skill to cut two holes."

"Okay, first, I had to estimate the distance between your eyes, and second, I had to dig up my whole apartment to find something that was completely white. You should be worshiping me! I mean, I _did_ just save you from a premature death, after all."

Beca sighed as she continued her trudge down the dorm halls. Was evading death by Aubrey worth dressing up as some sort of mentally stunted ghost? Her mind still considered the question, despite herself.

A group of idiot jocks quickly veered from around the corner, almost slamming into the small five-foot figure as they whooped and hollered. Beca, who had to avoid the stampede by pressing herself against the wall, cursed under her breath.

_"God, I hate people.'_

"…Hot damn! Chloe, you're smoking!"

Beca turned around, cursing loudly this time. John Tucker. Basketball player and _player_. A guy who could turn genital herpes into a society must-have, was leaning against the wall and looking at Chloe with an almost predatory look. (She's not a piece of meat, ya dick lick!)

"Thank you, John," Chloe smiled, taking the compliment in a completely carefree Chloe way despite the mental undressing he was partaking in. (Hmmm. That thumbtack on the wall could probably gauge an eye out or two.)

"Say Chloe…me and the boys are gonna have a pretty awesome party back at my house. Whaddya say? Wanna go…trick-or-treating with us?" (The blood in her veins was boiling. Was she seeing red? Shit, was this healthy?)

"That sounds great, John, but I'm a bit busy right now," she apologized, moving to stand next to Beca. (Hah, take that you stupid, egotistical son of a-)

She reached over and took a tight hold of Beca's arm. The short brunette looked at her friend in surprise. Despite the light tone and sweet smile, the sharp tug on her arm told her that Chloe wanted to be anywhere but here.

Tucker's smug grin quickly morphed into a dark scowl. It would seem that he was hardly used to being rejected. A rough hand gripped Chloe's shoulder, pulling her towards the tall jock. "Come on, Chlo, it'll be fun."

With Chloe's wince and pleading eyes, Beca quickly jumped into action. Throwing the cumbersome costume off her person, she smacked the offending hand off the redhead and placed herself between the two. "Dude, the girl said no. Back off," Beca growled, glaring venomously.

John looked at the short girl in front of him, the amusement evident in his eyes. To an outsider, the whole confrontation looked like a Chihuahua yipping at a Great Dane. "Move aside, short stuff," he chuckled, reaching over to push her away.

Beca's arm flew upwards and grabbed his hand, turning to twist his wrist. The basketball player yelped, staring at her with pain, surprise, and finally anger. Beca's eyebrows furrowed in barely contained fury; she dug her fingers into a pressure point and was quickly rewarded with a bellow. Using her second hand for added leverage, the five-foot brunette pushed his limb downwards until he finally collapsed onto his knees.

"I think Chloe has made it clear that she doesn't have time for your drunken bullshit. So I suggest you leave before I paralyze something important, ya got that?" Her frosty tone and intense eye contact left no room for disagreement. When he didn't respond, Beca applied more pressure on the point. Gasping in pain, he quickly nodded.

When she finally released him, John scrambled up on his feet and cradled his injured arm towards his chest. "You…you're both crazy bitches!" he hissed. With that said, he turned and fled down the hall in pursuit of his lackeys.

The seething Beca considered chasing after him for the insult, but was soon placated by a soft touch on the elbow. The bystander, a gaping nurse, could only stare at her friend in awe. Beca, who was now staring at her combat boots in embarrassment, didn't notice. "S-sorry," she stuttered, "That was really stupid of me, especially since-"

"Holy fuck, Beca!" Chloe exclaimed, "Where did you learn how to do that!?"

Beca looked up, using her left hand to rub her right elbow sheepishly. "Well, when you have a single mom and a teenage daughter living in a questionable part of town, you do what you gotta do…"

Chloe's eyes and smile were impossibly wide. "Beca…that was so…so…"

"Badass?" Beca finished, her confidence rising when she detected no scorn.

"Aca-awesome!" she corrected, "I'm sure your street cred will skyrocket when word gets out!"

Beca snorted. "Yeah. That's all I've ever wanted: being known as the up and coming Barden street fighter."

Chloe ignored the sarcasm and looped her arm around Beca's. "You so have to teach me how to do that."

Beca frowned for a moment, her mind imagining all types of shady guys that probably hit on her all the time. Her worry soon melted away, quickly replaced by amusement at Chloe's enthusiastic behavior. She seemed to be so happy at the thought of being able to disarm grown men.

"I'll have to check my calendar."

Unfazed, Chloe continued dragging the brunette before coming to a sudden halt. "Oh my gosh, I almost forgot!" she grinned, backtracking. Before Beca could ask, the accursed bed sheet was once again thrown over her head.

Argh. So close.

* * *

The night still wasn't over. Naturally, Beca couldn't help but sulk. All she wanted to do was sleep. Tomorrow was a weekday; there were CDs that needed to be stacked, mixes to be finished, and classes to not attend. But Aubrey and her traditions and Chloe with her pout forced her to stay. For the Halloween "party." Emphasis on the air quotes.

After the painful ordeal of fundraising, the Bellas were brought to Chloe and Aubrey's dorm. Upon arriving, they were greeted with colorful streamers, black bats, glow sticks, and mini-jack-o-lanterns. Snacks and assorted candy were already in bowls, waiting for them on the island counter of the large kitchen. (Which was totally unfair. Here she was sleeping on a bed that doubled as a couch while people like _Aubrey_ get to eat eggs made from her Iron Chef kitchen.)

The Bellas, being the shameless weirdos they were, quickly made themselves at home. Which left Beca sitting in the corner, wishing she could retire back to her couch-bed.

Everyone was chatting and munching on sugar, occasionally sipping Amy-laced punch. Instead of a song with beats that shook the floor, the background was filled with the dialogue from the Charlie Brown Halloween special. (She had glared at the remote-holding Chloe, her scowl deepening when she only got a playful wink in return.)

Despite fighting the haze of sleep, a (very!) small part of her couldn't help but appreciate Aubrey's idea of getting together outside of rehearsals. It gave everyone a chance to get to know one another without the pressure of sounding pitch perfect and wearing painful heels.

Much to her dismay, a fangless Cynthia Rose took a seat next to her. Don't get her wrong, CR was a pretty chill chick and all, but Beca was kind of hoping that she could slip into dreamland. The surprisingly comfortable armrest made an excellent pillow, and her bed sheet kept her decently warm.

"Hey there, pint-sized!" the mezzo soprano greeted. (Okay, what is it with people and their delight in her lack of height? Can't people get a little more creative? She was wearing ear spikes, for Christ's sake!)

"Heeeey," she moaned in reply.

The singer looked at her amusedly before grinning. "So, word has it that you beat up a six foot muscle man for jumping Chloe's tits. Stacie said you nearly broke his arm and made him beg for his life. Amy, on the other hand, swore up and down that you wrestled the whole basketball team and made them sign a slave contract. I wasn't sure which story to believe, so I thought I'd clarify with an actual witness."

Beca took a moment to blink disbelievingly at her friend. How the hell does gossip get so blown up in such a small group of people? "I just pressed a pressure point to make him back off. That's all," she assured.

Cynthia Rose relaxed into her chair, letting the two fall into a comfortable silence. See, that's what she liked about CR. She could sit in silence and be perfectly fine. Unlike the others, who were insanely nosy and-

"Ya know…" CR continued, unwilling to let the topic die, "A lot of people wouldn't have done what you did."

"Well, not everyone knows where pressure points are. The trick is to hit it right here, right next to the-"

Her friend shook her head. "No, what I mean is, not many people would've put themselves in the middle of something like that."

Beca frowned at the thought. "What do you mean? I did what any other person would do for a friend. I mean, haven't you hurt someone for hurting your friend's honor?" (Honor? Was she some Sir Lancelot now? Wow, she must be really tired.)

Cynthia Rose grinned again, showing off her incredibly white teeth. "I got into a bar fight once." Beca made a waving hand motion as if to say "See? There ya go."

"Some sleazy guy had too much to drink," she continued, "and tried to cop a feel on my three-year girlfriend."

In her defense, Beca was tired. She stared at Cynthia Rose's knowing look for a good five seconds before the words started to sink in. Her eyes widened, her exhaustion abandoned in exchange for shock. "Dude. No. Uh-uh. Chloe's just a friend. A completely platonic friend. Besides, Tucker is such a tool; he totally had it coming."

"I don't think you'd risk getting your ass handed to the campus police for protecting the _honor_ of a _platonic_ friend."

Beca shook her head stubbornly, refusing to accept her words.

The African American sighed. "Okay, baby steps then. Do you know if you might be gay…?" she asked tentatively.

"I'm bi," Beca asserted. She had the whole confusing sexuality thing figured back when she was a teen. It soon became just another fact of her life: she had trust issues, her mixes were kickass, she swung for both teams, etc etc.

CR nodded, glad that she could bypass that awkward stage. "Okay! So a crush isn't all that out of the question, then. I mean, she _is_ the first Bella you befriended, and her total lack of personal boundaries probably doesn't help."

Beca shook her head once again.

Cynthia Rose looked a bit frustrated, but still managed to keep her even tone. "Why not, Beca?"

Because she's probably as straight as a doorknob. Because trust issues would get in the way. Because shower guy is still probably in the picture. And, oh yeah, because she's Chloe freaking Beale, aka Miss "Painfully-out-of-my-league."

…Wait…no, Chloe was- no, is!- just a friend. Just…a friend. So it doesn't matter if she's out of whoever's league because all feelings that are being felt right here, right now, were nowhere near romantic!

…Right?

CR smirked at the conflicted look on her face. "If it makes you feel any better, you have exceptional taste. I mean, no one can fake those legs, girl! You'd better get on that before someone less noble than me tries to get in those panties."

Before Beca could reply, the topic of their conversation quickly made her presence known. She sat (fell) on the brunette's lap and looped her arms around the other girl's neck.

"Becaaaaaa," the intoxicated ginger cooed, "Come dance with me~"

"Uhhhhh…I um…er…"

In the corner of her eye, Beca saw Cynthia Rose bite a knuckle to keep herself from laughing.

Bitch.

"Cooome oooooooon! It'll be so much fuuuuuun~" Chloe finished the exclamation by rubbing her nose against her's.

Holy. Fuck.

Next thing she knew, Beca was on her feet with an ecstatic Chloe, who was happily flailing a pair of glow sticks to the background noise of Charlie Brown and Bella laughter.

She herself couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculous sight, deciding to ignore the questions that made their home in the back of her head. And the knowing look on Cynthia Rose's face. And the writhing stomach creatures and buzzing veins.

It was all probably a result of alcohol and lack of sleep, anyhoo. Because, really, this is like the _second_ month of Barden, and the _first_ of acapella. As a matter of fact, today was the first day she even _saw_ Chloe outside of rehearsals. So who was she to have these…**emotions?**

Amy trips, and somehow, an orange cupcake manages to smear itself on Chloe's collarbone. A very exposed collarbone, mind you…considering the costume she was wearing. Shoving a napkin in her hands, Chloe asks Beca to…well…wipe her clean.

God, how she hates Halloween.

* * *

AN: And with that, Halloween comes to an end. With four holidays and two chapters each, it should be around eight chapters. Unless I make an epilogue. (I probably will.) So if you love me and want me to love you back, leave a review! Anything from a sentence to a five paragraph essay (cough cough) would do! (Omg, rhymage.) So come on, let's be fast friendssss~


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Have you ever looked up "Anna Kendrick" in the search bar to clarify a minor detail then whoops, it's been two hours? Cuz it happens to me. A lot. (Curse you Kendrick. Why/How are you so hilarious?)

To the Reviewers:

*bows* Thank you for all the flattering compliments. ^-^ Being funny is a lot of pressure :U And to my beloved Guests! Even if you don't have an account, why not type in a name? You never know, I might just give you a shout-out~ ;D

Special Shout-Out to burapewhistle: And I love YOU, random citizen! *points and winks*

...and another one to SuperGirl06: GAAAAAAH! OMG! You! You are the writer of "Fly The Friendly Skies!" That was like one the first Bechloe fanfics I've ever read. It made me want to squeal and roll around in my bed in happiness. Thank you for reading! ^-^

* * *

_'Why, pilgrims, why? Why create such an unnecessary holiday? Why couldn't you just take over the New World and leave it at that? Why subject me to this cruel and unusual punishment?'_

"Beca, would you please pass the corn?"

Said brunette gave her stepmother a tight-lipped smile, muttering a quiet "sure." The plate was passed, and the silence continued, occasionally broken by the clink of silverware.

"…So, Beca," her father replied (Beca winced. Good God, please don't try to make conversation. _Please_.), "I heard from one of my students that you're in some singing group now. Is that true?"

The freshman nodded, feeling no need to elaborate. Dr. Mitchell stared at his daughter for a few moments before continuing. "Well…how is it?"

Stifling a sigh, she decided to throw him a bone. "It's okay, I guess. It's harder than I thought since, you know, we sing without instruments and all that jazz." The two adults straightened, glad that she was actually saying more than a one-word answer.

"Acapella, huh?" Sheila asked, testing the waters, "Impressive."

Beca shrugged. "We'd be better if our captain wasn't such a…prude. The group has some pretty good singers, but the songs are really old."

"How old?"

"Like Ace of Base's _I Saw the Sign_ old."

Her father's eyes sparkled. "Oh, really? I used to love Ace of Base!" Beca chose to keep her silence, because yeah, he's kinda proving her point. As the English professor went on a rant about the "good old days," the DJ slumped lower in her chair. My God. He was trying so hard. It hurt to be related to him.

Rolling the peas around her plate, Beca finally decided that even Bella rehearsal would be better than…"quality fun time with the fam." When it wasn't suffocatingly awkward, it was unbelievably annoying: a drawn out nightmare, really. She quickly unlocked her iPhone, wondering how she can entertain herself for another hour without raising any suspicion. Cut The Rope and Angry Birds were considered but later scrapped. Getting stressed over candy/green pigs didn't seem like a good idea at the moment. (Yes, she was _that_ competitive. No, two stars was _not_ enough.) Surfing the Internet would be great, but unfortunately, she was over her plan. (Curses.) Deciding that she really had no other choice (besides dying a dull death), Beca sent a mass text to people she could actually have a conversation with. …All five of them.

After a few more minutes of feigned interest, Beca internally cheered as the phone vibrated in her hands. Glancing down, the brunette unconsciously smirked as a familiar name flashed on her screen.

**[Chloe: Aw, come on Beca. I'm sure it's not that bad!]**

**[Beca: Oh, it's bad. He's talking about Nicki Minaj and MTV and teenage moms. End me.]**

**[Chloe: You name time, place, and method of death, and I'll see what I can do~]**

**[Beca: I knew it. You and Aubrey are totally out to kill me.]**

**[Chloe: Trust me when I say that if Aubrey wanted you dead, you'd be floating facedown in the ocean by now. ;D]**

**[Beca: How reassuring.]**

Beca bit her lower lip to stop the grin that was growing progressively bigger, a common occurrence nowadays whenever Chloe's concerned. She looked up from her phone, wondering if she got caught yet. …Nope. Still rambling about the generation of today.

"Hey Dad," she interrupted, "Can you show me where the bathroom is?"

He looked a bit dazed, as if just realizing that he had an audience. "Oh…of course! The first door to the left down the hall."

Smiling awkwardly as she excused herself, she scurried towards the indicated door. Sitting down on the closed toilet seat, she dug her phone back out from her pockets.

**[Chloe: Everything she does is out of tough love, Becs :P]**

**[Beca: Okay, first off, BULLSHIT. She loves me about as much as she wants to chew rusty nails. And Becs? Seriously? That's the best you can come up with?]**

**[Chloe: Haha, you know the s is next to the a, right? And oh, I can come up with more if you want. Don't underestimate my nicknaming skills, you little ankle biter!]**

**[Beca: Yeah, no.]**

**[Chloe: Embrace your true self, ducky!]**

**[Beca: Watch yourself, ginger.]**

**[Chloe: Ooooh, is the Oompa Loompa getting testy?]**

**[Beca: t(-_- )t]**

**[Beca: Soulless Annie.]**

**[Chloe: At least I still have you, my lil angel~]**

**[Beca: Hairless Garfield!]**

**[Chloe: Albino Smurf!]**

**[Beca: Groundskeeper Willie!]**

**[Chloe: Rebel Thumbelina!]**

**[Beca: Ronalda Weasley!]**

**[Chloe: Exiled Imp!]**

**[Beca: …I'll take that as a compliment. Tyrion Lannister is a total badass in Game of Thrones.]**

**[Chloe: You watch Game of Thrones too? I LOVE that show! :D]**

Beca stared at her phone in astonish, which was quickly replaced with unadulterated glee.

**[Beca: …I now hate you less. But seriously, I know! It's fucking EPIC. The settings are surreal, the effects are mind-blowing, and the actors are awesome in every sense of the word.]**

**[Chloe: The sex is pretty cool, too. ;)]**

Beca let out a bark of laughter before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth. Shit. She waited in silence for a few moments before realizing how ridiculous she was acting. Hearing laughter in the bathroom wouldn't warrant a knock. (They'll probably think she's going insane for laughing while pissing, but oh well.)

_'I think I've been fake-constipated for long enough,' _she thought, flushing the empty toilet and washing her hands.

Returning to the table with a sense of impending dread, she flashed another fake smile to her stepmonster. Ugh. She couldn't wait to go back to her dorm and stop this whole excessive smiling thing. Her face was starting to ache.

The second her father launched into another lengthy account about one of his insubordinate students, she took out her phone and continued the text conversation.

**[Beca: You're such a dirty little bird. I can't believe I got naked with you!]**

**[Chloe: Don't pretend you don't love it~ So how long are you going to be at your dad's house? Maybe later we can have a Game of Thrones marathon? (I own every season on DVD.)]**

**[Beca: Sex and violence? Yes, please. And I'm going to be leaving soon, I'm sure. When they finally bring out the penis pie, I'm out of here.]**

**[Beca: !]**

**[Beca: I meant pumpkin!]**

**[Beca: Pumpkin pie!]**

**[Beca: …How the hell does that even autocorrect to penis?]**

**[Chloe: I'm crying X,D Geez Beca, leave the sex and violence to television.]**

**[Beca: Shut the duck up.]**

**[Beca: Duck.]**

**[Beca: DUCK!]**

**[Beca: I hate this phone.]**

**[Chloe: Oh my God, my sides :,))]**

"…It's kind of fascinating, don't you think Beca?"

The brunette quickly looked up, doing her best to hide the "deer-in-the-headlights" look she was probably wearing. Knowing "huh?" wouldn't cut it, her mind reeled back to the last thing she could remember. "Oh yeah, well, Shawn was always a weird kid. He keeps hanging out with the wrong crowd, I guess."

As they both furrowed their brows, Beca winced. Damn, must have missed the mark.

"Beca…we're talking about the effects of peer pressure and how it affects grades," Dr. Mitchell explained. Yup. Definitely missed. Her father, strangely enough, just smirked. "So…who're you texting?"

When she didn't respond, he scoffed at her faux innocent look. "Oh please. Being a teacher doesn't mean I'm blind about you college students. People don't just smile at their crotch for half an hour, you know."

The freshman opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Cuz really, what do you even say to that? Especially when it's coming from your father, no less.

"So who are you texting? You never told me you had any friends!" (Gee Dad, that _so_ didn't sound pathetic coming from you.)

At the knowing grin on his face, she finally gave in. "I'm texting Chloe. You know, Chloe Beale? She's one of the captains of my singing group." (Oh great. Possessive adjectives now?)

Dr. Mitchell, unsurprisingly, did know her. "Chloe Beale? She's the best student in my Fundamentals of Writing class!"

Now this got her attention. "Really?"

Dr. Mitchell nodded before talking animatedly about his prized pupil, his daughter's rude texting habits seemingly forgotten. And with that, the dinner continued on without a hitch…except this time, Beca couldn't help but pay attention.

* * *

"You must really hate me, don't you?"

"Yes, but since you're not floating facedown in the ocean somewhere, I obviously need you alive. Now take the damn costume before I decide otherwise."

Feeling a chilling sense of déjà vu, Beca wordlessly accepted the bundle of clothes and ridiculous headpiece from Aubrey. The blonde pilgrim in turn shot one last warning glare at the short freshman before strutting off towards the bathroom, probably to check up on the changing Denise.

Beca examined the garments in her hand and wrinkled her nose is distaste. Ever since Halloween, Aubrey decided that it would be in everybody's best interest that she be the one to provide the costumes for the holiday singagrams. …But it was probably mostly because Beca would have come in empty-handed otherwise. (She'd be right, of course, but there was no need for her to know that.)

Beca looked up from her Thanksgiving Nightmare (part 2) and examined everyone else in their costumes. Lilly and Stacie were both pilgrims, wearing the usual black attire and top hats with buckles. (And don't ask her how, but Stacie _still_ manages to look seductive/sensual.) Cynthia Rose, Jessica, and Ashley, on the other hand, were dressed as Native Americans. They had a combination of braids, face paint, headbands with feathers, and earthy-toned clothes. Though, to be honest, none of them compared to the redheaded Indian.

Chloe, since she was already dressed and had time to spare, was sitting on the bleachers with a textbook in her hands and a concentrated look on her face. Even though she was wearing the same thing, there was something that made her completely….breathtaking. She suspected it may have something to do with the high auditorium windows letting in the light of the setting sun, reflecting off those red braids…

Since ogling from the distance was kinda creepy, the short brunette made her way towards the bleachers and plopped herself next to her friend. "Hey Chloe."

The senior, who had been too distracted to notice her presence, snapped the book shut.

"Oh, hey Beca!" She greeted, sounding far too flustered and rushed to be natural. Beca narrowed her eyes. Her body language was basically screaming, "Look at me! I'm being suspicious!"

"Whatchya reading?"

"Oh, just studying for a math test for next week. The teacher said it was going to be the hardest test of the year, so I thought being extra-prepared wouldn't hurt. You know, just in case." Again, way too rushed to be natural. What's there to hide in a math book?

…Actually…it looked like the book wasn't even completely closed…as if there was something wedged between the pages…

"Here, let me help," Beca suggested, outstretching her hand for the book. Chloe hesitated.

"Oh no, I'm fine. You probably have no idea how to use these functions anyway."

"I was pretty good at math back in the day," Beca lied through her teeth, "You know, with all the advanced classes and clubs and stuff." She quickly made a grab for the book, easily taking it from the distracted ginger. Chloe scrambled forward to get it back, but it was too late. Beca's eyes widened as she read the title of the hidden novel.

"You're reading _Fifty Shades of Grey_!?"

Chloe slammed the textbook shut and ripped it from the shorter girl's hands. "Shhh! Don't go screaming it out for the whole world to hear!"

Beca, after getting over her shock, smiled coyly. "Oh, Miss Beale! I never though you'd actually be interested in this kind of literature! What would my father say?"

Her cheeks grew pink with embarrassment as she fiddled with the cap of her water bottle, trying to find the right words to explain. "'People kept on talking about it in my anatomy class, so I guess I just wanted to know what all the hype was about…"

Beca's smile widened, her eyes twinkling with mischief. Chloe Beale was embarrassed? This was a first. "Well, at least you actually bought the book instead of hiding it on your kindle or something."

"Er…I got it from Costco...which I think is even dirtier." Her face darkened as the brunette cackled in glee.

"You…you got it from Costco?" She sputtered between laughs, holding her sides as she leaned on Chloe for support.

"Yeah, I found it in a bin of like a hundred other books. And it was cheap, so I was like yeah, why not? It was kind of awkward going up to the cash register though, since my cart had like corn and spinach and you know…._Fifty Shades of Grey_." Chloe quickly clamped her rambling mouth shut, realizing that she was just digging a deeper hole for herself.

"You got corn…" Beca gasped. "You got _CORN_!?"

"Yeah, for the Thanksgiving Bella Dinner for tonight. I like big quantities of corn cuz I like to…you know…make corn on the cob." Chloe looked at Beca with confusion as the DJ collapsed on her knees in laughter.

"Yeah? Corn on the cob!?" Beca asked, miming the innuendo. Chloe gaped in realization and pushed Beca away to distance herself from the perverse freshman. "Now you get it! Jesus Christ!"

Chloe buried her red face in her hands. "Oh my God, stop."

Beca, who now seemed to have a permanent grin plastered on her face, just shook her head. This girl had no problem serenading people in the nude, but God forbid someone catch her reading an erotic romance novel. This was just too hilarious.

Settling down a bit, Beca stole Chloe's water bottle and took a few gulps. Gah, her abdomens hurt. It's settled, no more laughing for the rest of the day.

"ALRIGHT TWIG BITCHES! LET'S ACA-CRUSH THIS AMERICAN HOLIDAY!"

Fat Amy blew though the doors as she made her exclamation, putting her hands on her hips so that everyone could witness her in all her glory…dressed as a big turkey.

As Beca sputtered and choked, Chloe made no move to help her. Probably as punishment for all the teasing.

Yeah, this holiday was definitely going to kill her.

* * *

AN: Ahhhh, my fingers are numb~ (The things I do for my art.) There is no joy quite like making a reviewer go ADLFKJAKLSDJFIEJF.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I have returned, dearest children~ I managed to ask (grovel) my parents for extra internet time so I could post this. Why? Because..._**'For all we knoooooooow~ We might not get tomorrow, let's do this **_**tonight**_**!'**_

To the Aca-MotherEffinFantastic Reviewers:

My love for you all has grown exponentially...if that was even possible. c: I swear, these longer reviews are like getting a text from a(n imaginary) boyfriend. I flop on my bed and roll around to burn the excess energy. :D I'm glad you like the real life snippets I put in there, and apparently you guys seem to like crotches and Rebel turkeys :P Glad to know my original stuff is actually amusing, haha.

(Quick Note: It seriously pained me to pick out the special shout-outs. I LOVE YOU ALL. DON'T YOU DARE FORGET IT.)

Special Shout-Out to *belly-roll* ...

**wh13caskett**!: You make me want to do socially-unacceptable things in random places, too, with this cute review ^^ So much aca-adjectives! So much love! Icanteven!

**Indomitis Instinctu**!: I'm glad you think I'm competent ;) Cuz really, this world just needs more fluff, ya know? Glad to be a contributor, haha~

...aaaaand **devildoc35**!: Dude, like seriously, I am beyond flattered. You would burn your soul for a review? haha, and omg, you choked!? ...Plz don't sue me ._. They don't have much internet in jail. ...But all legal actions aside, you seriously made my day. So I thank you :D

* * *

Beca stared at singagram. Then back at the room number. Then back at the gram.

That little motherfucker.

Gritting her teeth, the brunette pounded at the door. It swiftly opened, revealing a familiar, happy-go-lucky movie advocate.

"What the hell, Jesse?" she growled, flashing the piece of paper in his face, "You sent a singagram to yourself? Seriously?"

Jesse, unfazed by the angry brunette before him, just leaned against the doorframe and covered his mouth with his hand. He was giggling. Like an idiot. "Hiya, Chief!"

Beca glowered at her coworker. "Shove it, Swanson. The DJ scrunched her nose and swatted the hand that was ruffling her (literal) feathers. Like half of the other Bellas, she was dressed as Indian. Unlike them, however, she had a feathered war bonnet, something a tribe leader would wear. It was big. And bright red. (And pretty much solidified her opinion that Aubrey wanted to kill her, even if it was just socially.)

To make matters worse, she was alone in this. Unlike last time, Beca didn't have a singing partner. Which meant she had to look like a loser…by herself. (And yeah, okay, so _what_ if Fat Amy was poultry? She dressed like that voluntarily. And it was Fat Amy, so that was okay. She's like the punch line to everything.)

"So? I'm waiting."

Beca looked at Jesse blankly before laughing. "Yeah. Okay. Fuck this. Take your goddamn forever-alone card."

Jesse gazed off into the distance, scratching his chin. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that I would be getting a song as well." He gave her a smug grin. "I wouldn't want to go and ask your boss for a refund. And I would really _hate_ it if any names were to come up…"

Beca glared at him. On one hand, fuck this. But on the other, Aubrey getting a refund probably wouldn't go over so well. _'Pick your poison, Mitchell,' _she thought darkly. Sighing, she finally gave in and read the song title listed on the singagram. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"

"Please tell me you know this song. As much as I would love to have a Disney moviecation, it would ruin my hopes of you ever having a childhood."

"Of course I know this song! …But for the love of Christ, Jesse, there are people out here!"

"I'm sorry, was that a complaint?"

She resisted the urge to sock him in the nose. "You're getting the chorus. That's it."

Jesse grinned like a nerd at Comic Con. "That's all I ever wanted."

The DJ took a deep breath, steeling herself for the oncoming humiliation.

**_"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon  
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?  
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?  
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?  
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"_**

"Bravo, bravo! Encore, encore!" Jesse cheered and clapped, even going as far as whistling. Beca could feel her face burn with heat as a curious passerby turned to look at her.

"Yeah, yeah, just take it," she mumbled, shoving the card into his chest.

"Huh. _Dear Jesse, your rippling physique, dashing smile, and exceptional taste in cinematic creations are wonderful gifts to the world. Thank you for being so aca-awesome. Stay classy. _Aw, that's so sweet," he mockingly gushed.

"You're such a weirdo," she snorted, glancing behind her shoulder for any witnesses. She could almost hear her badass points commit suicide.

"A weirdo with some delicious homemade cornbread," Jesse grinned in reply, "Why don't you come inside? My mom always makes way too much, so I can spare a loaf or two."

Beca hesitated. Jesse was the last gram that she had to deliver, and she was under strict orders to immediately report back to the captains' apartment to help with the festivities. …But then again, cornbread. Cursing her love for the delicious Thanksgiving bread, she entered the room and immediately took off the war bonnet.

"Yikes," she grimaced, noticing the décor. One side was pretty bare other than a few movie posters taped on the walls; the other side, however, was like the inside of a comic book store.

"My roommate's really into Star Wars and magic," Jesse explained rather unnecessarily, "He's a little weird, but a genuinely nice guy once you get to know him." Beca nodded. Hey, at least he was brave enough to broadcast his obsessions. She herself was a closet dork and would rather drop college than have it become common knowledge. (So _what_ if she has a _minor_ crush on Frodo? Go away.)

"What's that?" she asked, nodding towards the laptop resting on the bed. The screen was paused, showing the shocked face of a beanpole boy.

Jesse looked up from his Thanksgiving food basket. "Just another one of those movie things. You know, the ones you hate so much?"

"Really, Jesse? And here I was thinking it was gay porn." Beca rolled her eyes. "I _know_ it's a movie. I'm asking you which _one_."

"Oh, it's _Scott Pilgrim vs. the World._ This guy named Scott falls in love with this girl named Ramona, but he has to defeat her 'seven evil exes' first. I think you'd like it. It has a lot of flashy colors and action and humor; even enough to occupy your hamster-sized span of attention, I would think." Jesse ducked as the airborne war bonnet flew over his head, chuckling at her childish actions. "Here, check it out," he suggested, hitting the space bar.

**Scott: You and her?**

**Ramona: It was just a phase.**

**Scary Blonde Chick: Just a phase?**

**Scott: You had a sexy phase?**

**Ramona: It meant nothing; I didn't think it would count!**

**Scary Blonde Ex?: It meant nothing!?**

**Ramona: I was just a little bi-curious.**

**Scary Blonde Man-woman: Well honey…I'm a little bi-FURIOUS!**

Beca stared at the screen blankly as some sort of Street Fighter scene commenced, complete with slow motion, war yells, and large hammers. "…What the hell am I even watching?"

"Wow! I managed you to make you watch it for 40 seconds! That must be a new record!"

"Oh, shut up. What kind of movie is this? I mean, what life lesson could it _possibly_ teach you?"

In one of his many lectures, Jesse had tried to make his point by teaching her the messages the movies were trying to send. Beca, being the cynical little thing she was, opted for the more literal lesson. (_ParaNorman? _Trust in the semi-crazy medium brother. _Prom Night? _Don't go to school dances. _Twilight? _…Don't get into ridiculous love triangles with mythical creatures because that would just be unhealthy for young preteen girls everywhere.)

Jesse shrugged. "I don't know. Fight for what you love, maybe? Because if she's worth it, there's nothing you wouldn't do for her…even if it involves getting beat up."

**"Kick her in the balls!" **the movie exclaimed.

Beca raised an unimpressed eyebrow as Jesse paused the movie. "So what you're saying is…take out the competition and hope for the best."

"If you _have_ to be crass about it, then yeah, sure."

Outwardly, Beca exuded an uninterested air, but inwardly, she couldn't help but consider it. People really go to hell and back for people they love, don't they? Was there anyone like that for her…?

A flash of fiery red and cerulean blue came into her mind, making her shake her head. No. Just no. Don't be ridiculous. That's just not…It wouldn't…Gah, lock it _up,_ Mitchell!

"Ah, here we go!" Jesse exclaimed, finally finding a loaf of wrapped cornbread. He tossed it to the distracted Beca, who gracefully fumbled with it. "Thanks for the inspiring song, Beca. Happy Thanksgiving."

This time, Beca couldn't help but return his goofy smile. "Yeah. You too. And uh…thanks for the free food."

"No problem," he replied, waving the thanks aside as they both approached the door. "See ya tomorrow at the station, Chief!"

Beca flipped the bird in farewell, eliciting more giggles from her…friend. (Great. Another one.) As she made her way down the hall, Jesse suddenly called for her.

"Oh! And don't forget your hat!" Once again, the red war bonnet flew through the air and back into her possession.

"I hate you!" she exclaimed as she turned the corner. God, work was going to be hell tomorrow. …Nevertheless, she smirked as she left Baker Hall. It seemed like the holiday cheer was seeping into her, even if it was just a little. And despite her promise not to, Beca couldn't help but wonder…

….who would win in a fair fight: her or shower guy?

* * *

"Oi! Short stuff! If you're not gonna eat any, pass me the corn!"

Beca looked over at senior sitting across the table and smirked evilly. "Hey Chloe, do you want some more _corn _before I pass it to Amy?"

Chloe turned pink and glared at the brunette. "No, I'm _fine_, thanks."

The brunette made no attempt to hide her amusement, passing the plate with a huge grin on her face.

"You okay, there, tiny? You look like my grandmother when she got addicted to laughing gas…"

The DJ stared at Fat Amy before laughing heartily. "Oh, it's nothing. …And I'm more of a morphine gal, myself." The whole table of Bellas laughed, some jokingly asking if she needed professional help…or a good dealer.

In the midst of all the light-hearted conversations and smiles, Beca silently compared the dinner to the one she had with her _actual_ family. Sure, the food was more or less the same…but the people made all the difference. Here, she felt…comfortable. Content, almost. And…warm, if that made any sense. All the smiling was hurting her face, but this time, she didn't really mind it. Even uptight Aubrey had let her hair down, occasionally adding to the conversation with her unsuspected humor. (Like, woah, Posens could laugh? Twilight zone, anyone?)

Picking up the piece of corn on her plate, she slowly bit into the grain, making eye contact with the redhead the entire time. Her face broke into a smile…which was quickly interrupted by a yelp when Chloe kicked her shin under the table. Stacie, who was sitting next to her, gave her a weird look.

"You okay there, Beca?"

Beca glanced at the redhead, who was trying to look innocent by throwing herself into a conversation with Aubrey. "Uh, it's nothing. Just. You know. I…really like corn, I guess."

Stacie followed her line of sight before looking back at the shorter brunette. She cocked a smug eyebrow, smiling that sultry, "I-know-all-your-dirty-little-secrets" smile. (…You know, the one that would get 95% of the human population all hot and bothered, regardless of their sexual preference.) It was the exact same smile that she got from Cynthia Rose that one October night (…except with far less sex appeal, of course.)

"What?" Beca asked, hoping that playing dumb would save her this time.

Stacie bobbed her head, her smile changing into one that said, "Puh-lease. Don't even try that shit with me."

Beca sighed in defeat. "…Am I that obvious?" she whispered, making sure that they were the only two who could hear.

Stacie shrugged. "Not excessively. I just know how to read people." This time, it was Beca's turn to raise her eyebrows. "What? Just because I'm…passionate…doesn't mean I have boobs for brains. …Though that'd be pretty cool, too." The alt freshman chuckled, shaking her head. There was certainly more to Conrad than what met the eye. (And to be honest, there was a _lot_ for those eyes to see. Especially with her being short…slash chest-level.)

"How could you tell?" Beca asked, feeling curious. She prided herself in being pretty aloof, after all. If everyone knew what she was feeling/thinking, it would kinda ruin her mysterious, music maker image. Something she hoped that she could bring with her to LA…especially since her dignity was already destroyed past the point of no return.

"Oh, it's mostly small things," Stacie answered, nonchalantly continuing her meal of turkey and stuffing, "For starters, you guys touch each other…like, a lot. And yeah, Chloe is kind of a skin magnet, but the fact that you _let_ her means that you're totally comfortable with it. Which is totally not you. The way you talk with her is different with the rest of us, too. You smile more freely, if that makes sense. And when you think no one's looking, you give her one of those…_looks_. Like…like you would do anything for her. And you even have all these little inside jokes that no one else understands. You know what I'm saying?"

Beca remained silent. Jesus…was she some test subject for a human behavior experiment or something? Stacie must really know her shit, though, since she basically hit every nail on the head. Especially the inside jokes. There was the shower barge-in (enough said), Taco Bell (an AM adventure that was probably more exciting than it should have been), bad impromptu rapping sessions (_Gangster's Paradise_ FTW!), and countless others.

"And of course, there are some big things, too. Like beating up Tucker the ex for being an ass."

Beca's neck jerked sideways, nearly giving her whiplash. "Wait, what? …He used to date Chloe!?" she staged whispered, glancing across the table to see if she attracted any unwanted attention.

Stacie looked up from her oven-roasted asparagus and gave her a questioning look. "Yeah…didn't you know that? John dated her when she was basically your average wallflower, but then Chloe dumped him after finding out that he was a cheating scumbag. Besides her personality and sexiness, she actually became popular for being 'that girl who shot down Tucker.'"

Beca blinked, trying to take it all in. Wow…she was turning into the female, badass version of Scott Pilgrim.

The busty brunette smirked at her blank face. "So…are you going to admit it yet?" When she got no response, she elbowed the DJ in the ribs.

Beca swatted the offending limb before returning back to her intense stare-down with her mashed potatoes. "I don't know, Stace. I mean, it's probably just some weird girl-crush anyway. I'm sure it's nothing."

Stacie rolled her eyes. "Goddammit, Mitchell! Just admit it already so I can go back to eating!"

Beca, who was starting to get increasingly frustrated, threw her hands up in the air. "Fine! Okay! I'm in love with Chloe Beale! Are you happy now!" She froze. Shit. Shit fuck. Oh my God. Did she just say the "L" word? Like, did that _actually _come out of her mouth!? Oh my God! Shitfuckcunt!

Stacie, who was taking a random sip of apple cider, nearly spewed the contents of her mouth onto the table, coughing violently to empty her drowning lungs.

"Shit, what!?" she exclaimed, finally attracting the Bellas' attention. Beca looked around nervously and assured everyone that it was nothing, really. After everyone returned their attention to their previous conversations, the soprano turned back to Beca.

"Love!? God, really? I thought you were lusting, or maybe starting to kinda like her or something. But love!? This…this is huge!" Stacie squealed, her face practically splitting in joy.

Well, you dug your grave, Mitchell. Might as well lie in it. "Yeah…It sorta caught me by surprise, too." (Understatement of the century, everybody!)

Stacie beamed and gripped her arm to pull her closer. "Just know that me and the rest of the Bellas totally got your back. Whatever you need, we'll be there to help!"

Beca groaned. She had no doubt that everyone would know before dessert was even passed out. "Stacie, I swear, if I see even _one_ post about it on _any_ social media whatsoever, I'm going to take away every condom in a twenty mile radius."

The sex-addict laughed. "It's a good thing there are these beautiful creatures called girls, then."

Beca blushed, looking at the oblivious redhead from the corner of her eye.

Yes…thank God for that.

* * *

AN: All the cool kids review. Just sayin.


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